Success to me has nothing to do with money. Success to me has everything to do with my happiness and my wellness.
And if money does come in, it comes in at the very end of the thought process.

– Beatrice Dixon

 

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE

As an entrepreneur, is it possible to be in full alignment with your heart, your values and your conscience and also achieve financial success and abundance? If you’re Bea Dixon, the answer is YES! As the co-founder and CEO of The Honey Pot Company, Bea has built a powerhouse brand of clean feminine care products. She is one of the first 40 women of color to raise over $1 million in venture capital funding.

Join us as we talk about the shifting tide of conscious capitalism, about how it is not only possible, but profitable to create a business that aligns with your heart. We will discuss how our spiritual lives and social activism are inextricably interconnected and interdependent.

 

SHOW NOTES

The Honey Pot Company | Forbes Article | Beatrice Dixon Instagram

 

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Episode Transcription

Beatrice Dixon

Success to me, has nothing to do with money. Success to me has everything to do with my happiness and my wellness. Right and if money does come in there, it comes in at the very end of the thought process.

Vanessa

Welcome to The NUSHU Podcast. I’m your host, Vanessa Cornell. I invite you with love into this space to learn and grow with me. And for a brief moment of the day, come home to yourself. Buckle your seatbelts, folks, this episode is hilarious, high energy, sometimes explicit, just FYI, if you have kids around, and extremely powerful, Bea Dixon is a force of nature, she is an inspiration. As the founder and CEO of the The Honey Pot Company, Bea has built a powerhouse brand of clean, feminine care products. She’s one of the first 40 women of color to raise over a million dollars in venture capital funding, her story of success, and our philosophy of persistence, integrity, and most of all, belief in self will leave you changed, especially if you’re an entrepreneur. But even if you’re not, she opens up the world of what is possible if we decide what we want, and shares the process of making that desire into your reality. And along the way, she shows us it is possible to succeed not despite staying true to who you are and what you believe in, but because of it, listen in on how to make positive change for yourself, and others through successful business.

Vanessa

I’m so excited to talk to you. I’m so honored to welcome Bea Dixon to the New Thought Leader series. Welcome.

Beatrice Dixon

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Vanessa

So first of all the thank goodness for people like you finally helping us take our physical and sexual wellness into our own hands, break taboos around speaking about it and valuing it. Tell us about your company who it’s for how you’re breaking the mold and creating empowerment through your amazing products and messages.

Beatrice Dixon

Our company is for humans with vaginas. So we are The Honey Pot Company, a plant-based feminine care company. We’re working very hard to get away from the word feminine because in my mind, I make products for humans with vaginas, that are women that love to be women for humans that don’t identify with being a woman, for humans that identify being a trans man, humans who may have been born as men, but have decided to make the transitions with their bodies, right? And actually pay and invest and do all the things that they want and need to do to make their body look and feel how they want it to those humans need to understand how to take care of their vagina to right, our sole purpose is to really provide clean, efficacious products at a really, really, really competitive price. We don’t want people making life decisions to buy our products. We are a premium brand, but we’re not so premium, that it’s you can still buy some of our products for under $10. Most products are under $10. You know, the largest way that we’ve done that is we’ve partnered with a lot of volume retailers. So we’ve partnered with Walgreens, Target CVS, Walmart, we’re in over $20,000 Today, I’m grateful to say so we’re able to really provide our products to the mass everyday consumer.

Vanessa

Yeah, and and I know that you’re not just providing menstrual products, right? Because I think that we sort of think think of care for our vaginas just as menstrual products but that is not that is not all there is.

Beatrice Dixon

No, The Honey Pot Company thinks about your vagina globally. So we do external vulva washes, we do wipes, we do Penny sprays, which are kind of like a natural deodorant if you will, but you literally just spray it on your panties. We have tampons, pads, we’re coming out with some really beautiful lubricants that are going to be launched between Target and Walmart. I mean, we make nearly 50 feminine hygiene, feminine hygiene and care products today. So the way that I like to think about feminine care and our brand, when you walk down the aisle in a store, right? It’s an aisle that’s full of products for the vagina, right. The Honey Pot Company is represented in most places where you’re going to buy something whether it’s in the washes and whites, whether it’s in the treatments, we make a natural boric acid and herbs deposits for making external bowls of cream, we’re even going into another aisle very close to the feminine care aisle. So we we are an all inclusive brand. And there really has never been a company that has taken on feminine care and hygiene the way that we have.

Vanessa

Yeah. So I really want to talk about your journey as an entrepreneur. And I’ve wanted to have this conversation about conscious capitalism or leading with your heart in your business for a long time, because the theme has come up again, and again, for me, on my path to being an entrepreneur. I never thought that I would ever, ever start a business. I never thought I would find something I was so passionate about that I just had to tell as many people as possible. And when I grew up, I was sort of taught that you had to be aggressive, or cutthroat to be financially successful, right? Like, the subliminal messages were, that was the path to success. And really, financial success was the only real success there. Right? Right, those messages were coming to me, my desire to live a heartful life, a full life, feeling true to myself, even the spiritual life, it felt like it couldn’t coexist with that financial success building a business or even ambition. And I realized through building NUSHU that I actually can create a business in which I don’t have to compromise any of those things. And that’s what I want to do. And that it’s not an either or, it’s not a like, well, I can go with my heart, but it’s going to impact my bottom line, but it’s the right thing to do. So I would love to know about your journey as an entrepreneur, I mean, you are in a rarefied space. Having raised over a million dollars from venture capital investors, I get the sense that you haven’t been stepping on toes and needed to compromise yourself. And so I’d love to hear about what you were taught about success, what you’ve learned, and what have been your guideposts in your in your path?

Beatrice Dixon

Well, I was never really taught about success until I was an adult, or what success really looks like, because Success to me, has nothing to do with money. Success, to me has everything to do with my happiness and my wellness. Right. And if money does come in there, it comes in at the very end of the thought process, any kind of variation of success that I was taught when I was young, it definitely was not around capitalism at all, right? Because my mother was a working woman when I was 15. And I wanted to get my driver’s permit. Right, I went to her to talk to her. And she was like, yeah, that’s cool. But you’re gonna have to get a job because I can’t afford to give you the money to go to driving school because she wouldn’t let me get in unless I went to driving school, right. So I was 14, turning 15. So I went and got, I went to McDonald’s and got a job. In a lot of ways. That’s how my mother taught me to be successful. If I wanted something, I needed to go get it. And I could not depend on her as my mother, even though I could depend on her to make sure my basic needs were met. But anything that I wanted extra, she was basically like, I’m sorry, but you have to figure it out. And I’m grateful that she did that. Because she taught me how to work. She taught me how to think after I saved up the money paid for driving school got my driving for me, when I turned 16, and I got my license, I was ready by that time to get a car. So she said, cool, you want to get a car, that’s great, you’re going to have to save up half the money. And whatever you save is what I’m going to is what I’m going to match, I’ll make sure that we can put our money together.

Beatrice Dixon

But again, her teaching me was all about if that’s what you want, you got to go get that you can’t expect me or anybody to do it. So I think that that was my first go on what success look like. And then the thought process and my family because that’s what they were taught was you need to go to school, you need to be a doctor lawyer. And I wanted to go to school to be a doctor, everybody was very excited about that. Only, I fucking hated school. So I was like, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to do that, because I’m not good at doing things that I don’t want to do. It wasn’t until I started a cleaning business when I was very much an adult. And I realized I had been in the working class forever, obviously, right? I realized that, you know, I had touched on something, but I didn’t make money unless I did a service. And so I was like, I’m working way too hard. And I just started to run into books and meet people. When you’re cleaning people you’re typically cleaning for somebody that can afford right to pay you to come in and clean. So I’m a person who just pays attention. And I was cleaning some nice places. But what I realized is I didn’t make money unless I was cleaning. So then my light bulb turned on and said I need to make money in my sleep. So that’s When I decided, I’m not going to clean anymore. And then a couple years later, after hustling and doing all the things, that’s when I ran into The Honey Pot Company, I say all that to say, at this point, when I think about conscious capitalism, it starts with me being happy.

Beatrice Dixon

In my soul, from the fucking bottom of my heart, I am happy, right? It starts with moving Well, it starts with me being mindful and mindless without me living in my head and being neurotic, it’s all about me being able to curate my life and experience precisely the way that I want to. But at this point in my life, I have an asset being The Honey Pot Company that can also provide me a very large amount of capital at some point, when I decide to exit or when the exit opportunity comes. So now, my goal is to bring my company to x, I’ve had to bring in investors, we’ve had to do all those types of things. But the reason why we brought them in is because we knew that one point, he would want to exit our company. And once I exit, to be honest with you, my goal is to not have to think about what I’m doing. I want to write, I want to travel, I want to go to school to be a chef potentially not because I want to cook in somebody’s kitchen just because I want to know how to like truly like de Bona duck if I want to. So now it’s all about my happiness. But the way the capital, that kind of the capitalism part comes into it is that, I know that in order for me to be completely free, in this world, I need to be financially stable enough to pretty much live precisely how I want to live. And that includes people cooking for me and cooking and cleaning for me and potentially driving for me and so that I can really own all of my time. But my happiness has to come before all of that. Because if you’re unhappy with money, you’re still poor.

Vanessa

Yeah, let’s go back to that happiness. Because that’s actually, it’s radical. Because I think a lot of people think about, well, I’m just gonna do this thing I hate to make the money so I can be free, so I can be happy. And you’re like, no, no, like, happiness first, then freedom and happiness.

Beatrice Dixon

If I’m unhappy, and then I have the money to have anything that I want, that is an unhealthy existence.

Vanessa

There’s that sort of scarcity mentality. But then there’s the real life reality right of needing an income to provide a roof and food support family. And so what advice do you have for people who have maybe an I dream, an idea, butter contending with, you know, the real life need for current financial stability and feel like I am not happy in my job, but I cannot quit my job.

Beatrice Dixon

So what I do is I try to get back to basics, everybody’s going to have a point within their business or their job, whether you’re an intrapreneur, or an entrepreneur, where you’re not happy, you’re busy, you don’t have time, you’re stressed, you’re trying to figure out your life, you have to figure out what you truly want. And you kind of have to begin with the end in mind. Right? If you’re working in a job that you’re unhappy yet, that’s a sacrifice. But if that job is the breadwinner of the family, for what I think is you have to get extremely serious about what it is that you truly want. And that job needs to become a means to an end. You have a high household income, and you’re making 567 a million couple million, several million w two, you have the capacity to sort yourself out. You have relationships, that you can actually create an environment that you truly want. But you have to get real serious and tactical and focus on what it is that you want. If you know that you’re unhappy where you are, okay? Don’t focus on the shit that you’re unhappy about. Don’t think about what you don’t want, think about what you do want. And then everything in your life aligns to that if you have a partner, and maybe your spouse doesn’t make the money that you make, but you guys are partners. You guys love each other. You’re here together. You’re a partnership, that partners got to sign up for this because look, this is how we’re eating. Well, everybody in the family has to sign up for it. And you have to figure out what it is that you want. And what’s your exit strategy is For me, my exit strategy is selling my company. Don’t take me wrong, I love the work that I do, this is my life’s work. But for a person who’s an intrapreneur, and doesn’t have their own company, what’s going to be your exit strategy for getting out of this job that you fucking hate? Is it that you start your own business? Do you need to get to a certain amount of money in your in your savings account, do you need to get it there and then work with your financial planner, to help you to get to where you need to get to financially so that you can walk away so that you can finance whatever the thing is that you’re hoping and dreaming about? Or is it that you got to really look at your life and be willing to take a step back, take less money, so that you can actually be happy because money isn’t everything. And maybe you want a person who has a high household income. And if you’re a person who doesn’t have a high household income, and you hate your job, you have to go through the same steps that anybody has to go through, none of us have to always be unhappy.

Beatrice Dixon

I think the place that the brick wall that we run into is we’re conditioned to focus on our unhappiness. You got to recondition yourself to focus on if you’re not happy, even if you don’t understand why you’re not happy. Instead of trying to figure out why you’re not figure out the shit that you want to curate your life experience around. And that doesn’t mean that you’re focusing on why you’re neurotic. And why you’re depressed and why you’re anxious. If that’s where you are, that’s where you are. But start figuring out ways to design your life in a way that you’re doing things that make you happy that when you walk in that when you walk in your space, it’s clean, it’s organized, it smells, how you want it to smell, there’s plants, how do you want to dress? What kind of food do you want to eat? If you don’t like your body? How do you want your body to look? Right? We have spent so much time going out. And this is where we get fucked up. We spend so much time going out. We spend so much time making sure to families making sure if you’re partnered and you aren’t the person who’s making the money, you’re the person who’s managing the house is doing all the shit. You’re making sure your family still your husband’s that this is good. That’s good, right? You’re in your groups, you’re in your you have your friends, you’re doing all these things. What are you doing for yourself? How do you really want you to feel self preservation is a real thing. Now. We’re doing all these things, and we’re just going out, none of us are going back in. And then we worry about we wonder why we were so fucking miserable. Right? You have to be an entrepreneur for your fucking life. And get yourself together? Because nobody else can do it with you.

Vanessa

Yeah, yeah, you make a plan? And you go get it? Yeah. And I think what I’ve seen a lot is people figuring out what they should want, or what they think they should want, or what they think other people think they should want, or what would make it seem to other people like they have what they want. But that is really different from what, from what you want. And that is a whole lot of energy in a direction that is not going to get you are you want to be right still for other people. So let’s talk about this steps along the way. And this idea that you have to compromise or you have to compromise your values, or you have to make choices. Were there times where you had to make choices, and you were like I could do this or I could do this and most people would do this but no, that’s just not who I am. That’s not what I want. It’s not what I believe in. I’m doing this.

Beatrice Dixon

Oh, yeah, hell yeah, that happens every day. Everything is a choice. Right? Am I gonna go left or right? Am I gonna choose to think this way? Or am I gonna choose to think that way? Am I gonna make my perspective the perspective most people have? Or is it going to be mine? Especially within The Honey Pot Company. We have absolutely had to make very hard choices. Some choices were made for us, right? But I’m a person that believes that everything happens in order, even when it doesn’t make sense and it doesn’t seem like it. When it comes to my life. And when it comes to my business. The shit is life or death for me. When it comes to my happiness, it’s life or death for me. I’m not right. It’s like black or white. Right. I don’t cut corners when it comes to Beatrice. I just don’t right If I don’t like it, I’m not doing it. I’m cool. I’ll be over here, I’ll see are we gonna do that? Right when it comes to The Honey Pot Company, it’s the same thing. And that has less to do about me and more to do about the humans that have been here along the journey that has sacrificed their time, their energy, sometimes their money, their relationships with their families, because they spend more time working than they do. You know what I mean? The CEO, co founder of this company, it’s more of that for me than it is about me and my financial wellness. Everybody at our company owns a portion of it, everybody does. The reason for that is because on the day that comes where we do exit, I need to make sure that everybody that helped us to get there is eaten, I can’t be at a at a fucking gorgeous table of food eating. And my team is in an eating table scraps.

Beatrice Dixon

So for me with The Honey Pot Company, we’ve had to make a lot of hard choices. We’ve grown our business very lean, where where most of my competitors raise billions of dollars. And I used to get so bent out of shape about it, because I was like, we would be doing so well. It really bothered me, because I was like, wow, we really need the money. And we’re really doing the right things. But when I look at that right now, our decision that was made for us, and that we eventually came around to, to be lean and grow our company, the way that made the most sense, I’m so happy that we did it that way. I’m so happy that we that that those decisions were made for us because it put us in a much better position to be out because we had to learn how to carry our own weight. There was nobody to do it for us with The Honey Pot Company. I just try to go with the flow. Don’t try to focus on shit that I don’t have control over. I’m big with that with my team, and we don’t have control over it we got to die to. And let’s go do some other shit. Because we can’t. What are we going to do when you’re on your path to your company being a success. It’s full of things that you can’t control. It’s full of things that is full of decisions. It’s full of mistakes, it’s full of wins. It’s full of failure. It’s full of all that shit. But it takes all you know, for all of this to happen. You just got to be willing to roll with it.

Vanessa

So can we talk about something that happened with a Target ad? A bait? Yeah, yeah, you can tell. I mean, so you got a lot of attention for this Target ad where you said, the reason why it’s so important for the The Honey Pot Company to do well is so the next black girl that comes up with a great idea could have a better opportunity. That means a lot to me. But that makes a lot of sense to me. But you’ve got a lot of negative attention from this from white folks saying this was racist, which we’re not going to debate here. Because I mean, no, not at all. But But then what ended up happening was your sales increased dramatically. I mean, that, to me is like the universe saying like yes to that message, what I really want to talk about is what it means to you to inspire black girls to be the next Beatrice Dixon, because you did it for your happiness. But now, it’s about a lot, something a lot bigger than you what you’ve created is important and powerful in the world.

Beatrice Dixon

Look, the reason why I said that is just because I know what happens. When you’re raising money, you’re pitching to a room of investors, most of the time, it’s going to be men. And, and mostly it’s going to be white men. Being a woman, let’s take blackness out of it for a second, you’re in a room full of people who don’t fucking understand you. They just don’t, they’re not going to understand you. First off, because you’re a woman and you’re talking about fashion products. Let’s take the vagina products out of it. Let’s just make it general. Then you then you layer on that you’re a black woman. One thing that is not being seen, first of all, you’re not seeing tons and tons of women having huge exits. You’re just not. So you’re even more not seeing a bunch of black women growing scaling and exiting their companies. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen because it does. But it’s very, very, very few and far between. And so when you’re in that situation, it’s a bit of a conundrum. Because investors invest in things that they understand, and founders that they understand, in a way, right and it’s In those rooms, those venture capitalists or those private equity funds, because that’s where you’re really going to get the breadth, right? Especially if you’re at scale. If there is not more black women that are growing, scaling and exiting their companies, the disparity in venture capital is never going to go away. Ever. Because in their mind, I’m not saying black women do this shit. Right? So it’s gonna be weird for me to put this to put my as private equity firm or venture capital fund to put my 510 2030 40 million to work, because that seems more risky because I don’t see it every day. So the reason why it’s so important for The Honey Pot Company to do well is because we can be that comp in that black girls investor deck. Everybody puts comps in their investor deck. My comps were Jessica Alba’s Honest Company, and Dollar Shave Club. That’s what my comps were, when we first got started raising money, shame, excuse me sundial hadn’t exited yet. Maybe they did like two years later.

Beatrice Dixon

This is like our very first ever race. So we didn’t have a black company that we could say how to ridiculous exit, that that had a similar business model that we did, we couldn’t say that. For me. That’s why it’s important for the The Honey Pot Company to be successful. Because we are a black owned business, that’s also a woman owned business. And we are working our asses off to have an absurd exit. We have an absurd exit. And even if five other black women have close to even absurd exits, were undeniable then. So that’s why I said what I said it had nothing to do with what people thought it had to do with. The other reason why it’s important for us to be successful, is so that young black girls and black women that are owning their businesses and want to grow it, understand that you’re not selling out if you exit culturally, right? Not only in my culture, but in your culture, too. Culturally, if we sell our businesses, we should have passed our businesses off to our children. Right? But what the fuck is that gonna do?

Beatrice Dixon

What if my kid doesn’t really like it and takes the business, right? To help our culture understand, not only as black women, but also as women, that we can exit our companies because that is a road to real money. And just because you exited your business, you haven’t sold out a ship, all that you did was stacked your bread and made it so that you are financially sufficient to start another business if you want to. Because that’s what capital does. Business. Our businesses are not our children. They are not our partners, they do not love us. They do not give a fuck about us if we do not our businesses, our commerce, that’s what our businesses our business is transactional. That’s what business is. Unless you’ve got a nonprofit organization, your business does not give a fuck about you. Right? So we have to wake up as women kind as specifically to the question you asked, as black women kind to understand.

Beatrice Dixon

That’s why men always have a fucking leg up. Because they know that shit. They know that white men built that shit. They know it, and a part of why we’re always back here, as women and as black women, most of the time, not every time, but most of the time, is because they kind of want us to stay back there. That’s the That shit was built in. That shit is a conditioning mechanism. And if we don’t wake up and pay attention, and if we got businesses, if we don’t get real fucking serious about what we doing and get this motherfucking money because that’s what businesses are for. Right? What are we doing? Why are we even here? You understand what I’m saying? So, yeah, I’m a big thinker. I can do anything I put my fucking mind to anything. And for people who don’t feel like they can, I want to be an example that you can forget the skin of the color of your skin. We’re human beings. Right? We’re human beings. You guys. We live in on a planet called Earth, fuck what your city is called, fuck what country you live in, you live on Earth. Everything that’s here is supposed to be here. And all of these things color, woman, man business, all of this shit is made up you guys. All of it is, we have to know that you can do anything, anything, anything you want your happiness, your life, your livelihood, how you want your kids to grow up, what part of the planet Do you want to live in, I want to live in four different places a year. That’s my goal, however you want to do it, you can design it however you want. And you have to know that.

Vanessa

You’ve said a couple of things that are that are radical for people. And I have seen so many people keep themselves so small. It’s not other people, keeping them small. It’s them even. It’s always you. And if we’ve learned that we’re supposed to be small, we can also decide to unlearn that we’re supposed to be small, right? This is like not anyone else giving us permission. This is only us giving ourselves permission to dream big, and want things and go for them and be unapologetic about what we want.

Beatrice Dixon

Yep, we have to really, and this is just my way, I’m not telling anybody to do anything. I’m a very spiritual person, I have been a very religious person. But what I’ve come to understand, please don’t take what I’m saying the wrong way. Even our spiritualities and our religious practices that we decided to get behind, can keep us down. We aligned to these rules. And these rules are beautiful. religions are beautiful. But the fact is, is that as long as you are living well, and you are focusing on your happiness, and you have respect for the ship that really is God, like food, and water, and the sun, and the moon, and the fact that we’re fucking spinning it hundreds of miles per hour right now, in the middle of ether. The air that we breathe is our God, all of these things that are really truly our God are some of the things that we really don’t pay attention to. But those are the things that help you to get in alignment with yourself. Right? I’m not saying to not be religious. I’m saying to understand what the point of your religion is, whatever it is, whether you’re a Christian, or Muslim, if you practice, you’re a bit like me, sports or Santeria? Lukumi if you are Buddhist, if you whatever the thing is that you’ve aligned yourself to understand that that is not those rules. Not saying don’t follow them, do what you want, move how you want. But try to practically look at the rules and guidelines that you’re aligning yourself to. And try to figure out if that’s really what you want. Because a lot of times we ally, and I can tell you because I have and did, and sometimes will, because your budget is one of the most beautiful religious to me that has ever been created. Because humans created religion, so that we can understand, wow, how does the sun come up in the moon? How do I eat my food? How do you understand what I’m saying? Well, what I was I was a slave to my religion. Not that I shouldn’t be. Right, I choose it. And that’s what I am. But I was a slave to it. And I feared it in it. And I use it in a way that really didn’t free me up which is the point of what spirituality should be.

Beatrice Dixon

It should free you It shouldn’t keep you locked in chains, you have to figure out as a part because because of the way that we use spirituality and religion. We use it as a way to guide and to create a path for our life. While you’re looking at your happiness, look at your spirituality practice. And, and and pay attention to if you’re doing things within your practice that you don’t really want to do. Because if you don’t really want to do it and you’re repressing, not wanting to do it, and then feeling guilty for whatever the things are. That is a huge deposit into the into the bank of unhappiness. I’m not telling you to drop your religion. That’s not what I’m doing. I’m just saying When you look at your life, you’re designing your life, how you want it, because you are well within your rights to do whatever the fuck you want to do. Look at everything. And figure out what it is about your life that you don’t like, and what it is about your life that you do like and what it is about your life that you actually want to do.

Beatrice Dixon

And start designing your life the way that you really wanted. And you won’t have time to think about how unhappy you are. You won’t have time because look, bitch, I got fucking time for that. I’m in New York right now packing up my apartment, because I don’t want it anymore. Because I don’t feel like paying to rent that shit is stupid right now. You got to figure out what are the things in your life that are weigh you down, and you got to get real fucking serious about it. real serious about it, like to the point to where you work it like it’s a job because it is because you got to live inside of this skeleton. The house that you live in, is this body. And you got to figure out how to live in it peacefully in the road today is figuring out what do you want it to be, and doing nothing. But that. And I promise you, everything that you think is going wrong is going to fucking break away. Because you’re not thinking about what’s wrong, you’re only thinking about what’s right for you. And self present variance is the only way. because that’ll help you to be a better lover to your partner that love to your children, you’ll do better at your job, even if you hate it, you’ll you’ll eat better, because you don’t want to fuck your body up, you’ll drink more water, you’ll exercise you’ll do the things that you really need to be doing. Not because it’s what you should be doing or what your friends are doing. Right. But because that’s what you really want. That’s the key to it. It’s not rocket science, you just have to figure out what you want, and then build your life to get there.

Vanessa

Yeah, it’s so spot on. And it’s so empowering. And it’s so important. And I also want to acknowledge that people struggle to be able to grab that thing that you’re grabbing with so much power and conviction. And that, even if you just put yourself in that direction, yeah, assaultive today, right? It’s like it didn’t, it doesn’t happen all at once. It’s not like, I’m gonna decide today to have permission to go for what I want to want when I want because if we’ve been used to being told, or not thinking that what we need matters. And it takes it takes a bit so be patient.

Beatrice Dixon

Yeah. Be patient and give yourself grace. And realize that everything is a process, everything is in order. You’re going to mess up, you’re going to make mistakes, you’re going to fall off the wagon. But the point is, is to not make yourself feel bad about it. I was listening to Pema Chödrön, and she was talking about why people mess up when they meditate. And she said, the reason why people typically mess up when they meditate is because they’re trying to judge their meditation. Right? You’re trying you’re trying to not think. And then when you think you’re like, Oh shit, I shouldn’t be thinking, right? The art to meditating well, is to just be here for whatever comes. My version of meditation is everything I do. Everything I do is a meditation. This is a meditation, because this is all that I’m doing right now. And whatever happens happens, right? If I fuck up, cool, I fucked up. I just need to get to the next moment. Don’t dwell in it. If something fucks up, it was meant to fuck up. Who next? Just be here, right now, all the time. And except when things don’t go your way, except when they do go your way. I’m just saying you’re gonna die one day. So you know, what are you going to do? Just try to live well, in all of your moments. Even when you’re even in a moment where you can’t live well. I get mad I get anxious. I get sad. Sometimes. Sometimes I want to eat a burger. Most times. I’m going to eat a kale salad and some lentil soup, right? But if I want to eat a fucking piece of Wagyu beef, because it’s gorgeous and it tastes fantastic. I’m going to live that moment. Right? You don’t have to be perfect at it. It doesn’t exist. Perfection is a fallacy. Control is a fallacy. It is a fucking illusion. Nothing happens overnight. And in order to get on a path to happiness and wellness, and true mindful and mindlessness, you really have to want it. And you really have to work extremely hard at it every day, every moment.

Vanessa

I appreciate your perspective on the perfection, really standing in our way. And that self criticism really standing in our way. I mean, those are all huge energy sucks that are going to interfere with us getting serious, in your words about getting what we want.

Beatrice Dixon

Yeah, and you could choose that path of trying to be perfect. Or you could be like, you know what, that isn’t enough it so? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Vanessa

Wow, what a beautiful conversation. I really think that you have shifted some people seriously over the last hour, including me, I so appreciate you being here. With us sharing your wisdom sharing your journey, share your inspiration, and I thank you so much.

Beatrice Dixon

Thank you. Thank you.

Vanessa

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