The Gratitude Trap is the idea that we can’t be both grateful for what we have and unsatisfied at the same time.

It’s keeping us small and unhappy, trapping us in a life that isn’t satisfying, while being fully awake and alive is available to us all. It deceives us about what is possible and available to us, and I’m here to dismantle it for all our sakes.

Here’s how you know if you’ve fallen into the gratitude trap:

• You’re grateful for all your blessings.
• You thank your lucky stars every day for your family and loved ones, the health of those you love, and all the other gifts and privileges you have.
• You know how much you have to be grateful for, but something still feels off.
• You have a sense that you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing; you feel kind of blah and dissatisfied; your life feels a little meh.
• You feel guilty expressing or sharing this feeling because it seems trivial compared to the immense suffering in the world.
• You feel that so many others have it so much worse than you, and besides, you’re not a complainer. No one likes a complainer.
  

So you ignore whatever feels off or missing in your life. You don’t ask for more out of life and refocus on your gratitude. You already have so much more than so many, and it seems selfish and greedy to ask for more. If you completely relate to this, I want to offer a different perspective.

The only thing you are doing by not pursuing your passions is denying the world the full expression of your gifts. Especially if you have privilege, you have the capacity to create a real positive impact by following your heart and passions.

Being paralyzed by gratitude (aka guilt) doesn’t just deny you your joy, but also the impact your joy can have on all those around you.

If your inner voice is telling you that she is dissatisfied, but you are shaming her away, I am telling you that she will only grow louder and louder.

She will not go away, no matter how much you ignore her, explain her away, or tell her to be silent. You can be both grateful for your life and want more.

There is a difference between shaming your struggles away and putting your struggles into perspective.

Shaming them away says:

You have health, wealth, happiness, and love. You are lucky and privileged, and therefore you are not entitled to your own pain and struggles. So many people have it worse than you, and therefore you have no right to feel sad, unappreciated, frustrated, upset, or angry.

Perspective says:

I have the right to feel what I am feeling, and I also recognize, at the same time, the significance of my pain and the responsibility I have to use my position of privilege for good.

You can be both grateful for your life and desire more from it. Let go of the guilt and step in your joy and gifts—the world will be better for it.💛

Love,
Vanessa